Basketball on the Edge – We Need To Teach Kids How To Deal With Failure. Here’s How.

Failure is inevitable. Even the greatest athletes have failed over and over again. They don’t win every game. They don’t bring home a championship every year. Michael Jordan played 15 seasons in the NBA and “only” won six titles. LeBron James has lost 5 of his 8 NBA Finals appearances. The best ever don’t succeed every time. The sooner we help young athletes understand and deal with failure the more we are helping to set them up for true success, both on the court and in life. How can parents and coaches use failures to help their young players grow as both athletes and people? Share these 10 life lessons with kids whenever they have to deal with failure.

1. Failure is an opportunity to learn.

When we fail, we have to look for the reasons why. As we figure out those reasons we can incorporate what we’ve learned into our next opportunity. Our learning could be physical (I need to be a better shooter) or mental (I need to be more focused in critical moments. We need to define losing as a learning opportunity rather than a fixed reflection of our abilities.

2. Failure encourages thinking.

What did I do this time that led to failure? What can we do differently next time? Failure leads to this type of self-reflection that allows us to grow from failures.

3. Failure requires problem solving.

Often when we win, mistakes and deficiencies get glossed over. We think everything is great. We miss opportunities to grow because the scoreboard results tell us we did fine. When our children lose, we need to encourage them to problem solve solutions that will lead to better results the next time out. A key question kids should ask themselves is “What could I have done better?” Followed up by “How do I improve in that area I identified in the previous question?”

4. Failure helps us learn from our mistakes.

The most effective practice occurs when we are at the edge of our comfort zone. When we practice at that level, mistakes are going to occur as we push ourselves just beyond our current capabilities. Research has shown that is how we learn best. Failure is a chance for us to let kids know that mistakes are part of the learning process. The key here is for us to make sure kids know they MUST learn from their mistakes. Making the same mistake over and over again is not acceptable.

5. Failure leads to improved performance.

After the first four lessons on this list kids should begin to understand that failure leads to better performances in the future. This is true as long as we take the time to understand what happened, figure out an improvement plan, and then take action on our plan.

6. Failure requires courage.

Failure can be scary for kids (and adults!) If a player misses a game winning shot, it takes courage to want the ball in their hands the next time that situation arises. When we fail, we’re vulnerable. We may get criticized. It is not easy to get back up when we’re scared it may happen again. Sports are a great way to learn about the courage it takes in life to seize opportunities even if we’ve failed before or when failure is a possibility. Great players and great lives require courage.

7. Failure builds resilience.

We learn that failure isn’t final. We are going to have more opportunities to come back and fight another day. We have the ability to help our young athletes recover from setbacks and develop the grit that success requires. Remind kids, “If being great was easy, everyone would do it.”

8. Failure demands persistence.

Children need to know that overcoming failure doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process that requires hard work and determination. The ability to stick with that process over extended periods of time (even with mixed results) is what will ultimately lead to success.

9. Failure builds character.

Win with grace, lose with class. When kids fail we can teach them the proper way to react. We can explain and model how to respond to both failure and success. Always be gracious to your opponents even when they may behave in a way that makes it difficult. Overcoming obstacles in sports and in life requires strong character. Failure is an opportunity to strengthen our young athlete’s character. Don’t let these teachable moments slip past us.

10. Failure is an experience.

The more something happens, the better we become at handling it. Handling failure in sports today can give our young athletes the experience they need to deal with failures (both on and off the court) they’ll face in the future.

We need to shift our perspective when it comes to failure so that we can take advantage of the frequent opportunities sports provides to help our young athletes handle adversity. If we don’t, we’re missing out on the chance to develop skills that translate to any walk of life.

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